Seattle Runner Mafia

If you live in Seattle, or even Portland for that matter, you know all about the bicyclists that hog the streets, slow up traffic and get nasty with you if you get in their way. And now I learn they get together once a month in something called Critical Mass and clog up the streets even more with their holier-than-thou attitudes. I could go off on a triade on this topic alone......

Well, this morning Rob and I encountered a whole new menace to the sidewalk we have to keep an eye on - the RUNNER! Let me set up the scene for you:
It's 8:15am.
Me, Rob and Janni head down the back stairs of our bldg - 3 flights
Me - fumbling w/ a laptop bag and purse in high heels
Rob - fumbling with an arm load of drycleaning
Janni - all smiles and happy
We open the back stairwell gate, Janni gets excited as we walk about 10 feet up the driveway.
And then WOA - out of nowhere The Psycho Jogger From Hell.

I hear someone crazed woman yell "Sit, Sit!!!" and I yell "Hey, don't yell at my dog (no one hears me)". Rob yells something at her I can't understand. Then she yells "You need to get your dog on a leash!", "Scoff Law" and "You are illegal". To which Rob yells a choice insult at her (it involves an F and a U), and she yells it back. I'm totally laughing at her (of course all my good comebacks come to me later in the day as I fume). Her final retort is "I'M A RUNNER!!".
Well, stop the presses right there. SHE is a RUNNER! Well, in that case let me bow down to your spandex and short, cropped lesbian haircut. Please, don't let our dog bother you, b/c you are RUNNING and therefore own the sidewalk.

In conclusion, we will now have to keep our eyes peeled for both crazy bicyclists and RUNNERS!! The only safe place seems to be inside my car. Sigh. Welcome back to Seattle Rob and ML.